Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
