My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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