if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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