You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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