We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I need a beard to bite.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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