if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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