and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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