My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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