I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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