pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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