yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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