Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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