My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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