i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Randomize
