Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
