so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
