like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
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