Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
That's when you crack a 10am beer
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
