Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
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