I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
