So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
