But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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