You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
