I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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