I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
