I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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