Nicole vs. Life
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
This is the prime rib incident all over again
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
