Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
