...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Randomize
