tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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