Need sex. Gaining weight.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
