I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Randomize
