Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
