We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
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