Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Randomize
