Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
