I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Girls should come with a carfax report
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
