I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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