Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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