people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
