i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
