Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
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