Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Randomize
