I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
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