considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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