i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
