So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
