dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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