he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
