I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
ugly people sure do ruin things
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
