I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
