are you still at the devil's house?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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