Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize