apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
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